Week One. THE GIF POST.

I live in New York City. It has become a regular habit of mine to wake up Sunday mornings and walk the whole of one block to my local coffee shop for a quality cup of joe. This past Sunday, in so doing, I had traversed a distance further than the Texas offense on the preceding Saturday night. WELCOME TO 2015.

When you saw Textanic.

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This is your weekly GIF post. You are reading it right now. This is a sentence you are reading. This is actually getting published. Why have you not clicked away. This year GIF posts will be different. Wait. What did he say?

When you read that the GIF post is getting a change and the wording was confusing to boot.

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Yes, this year you get a little review of the previous week and a preview of the upcoming week. This will help mitigate the dry, stale, horribleness, tragic (no I'm not talking about the Texas offense anymore) bye weeks. Also, if Art Briles sees fit to introduce new wrinkles into America's top offense then goshdarnit America's worst GIF post needs a bit of an overhaul.

Your reaction when you realize what I've just now made you watch.

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Remember the offseason? Yeah? Seth Russell had a cure for all of us. Mack Brown was in the middle of asking what the first play was going to be and Seth had already dropped in a 47 yard dime to Corey Coleman. This seems like history repeating itself, but I digress.

After the first offensive play of the season.

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But after SMU's first offensive play of the season.

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After missing 22 tackles in the first half (!!!) Baylor righted the ship and the defense only missed 3 in the second half.

Meanwhile in Lubbock ...

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Just the mere thought of Andrew Billings being on YOUR team.

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Outside the Big 12, Penn State played just a smidge better than Texas offensively (seriously hit that link then scroll to the very bottom. If you don't chortle then I owe you coffee) and lost to Temple prompting them to literally bury the game tape in the field.

I found footage of future Penn State head coach Tyrone Willingham.

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You probably noticed that I went outside the Big 12 to still take a shot at Texas, and by now you might be wondering if the new GIF post style is just a bunch of dumb digs at the program down in Austin with some Harry Potter pictures sprinkled in. Well the answer is no, it just so happens that every program in the Big 12 other than Texas won this week so it is what it is.

Kansas fans reading along and then realizing I seemingly relegated them to FCS status.

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Now, we can't talk week one without talking about TCU beating the Kaiju that is Minnesota Football. Injuries are terrible things. TCU is in such desperate need for linebackers that Gary Patterson started unblocking people on Twitter to ask if they could walk on. This brings me to my weekly segment: Asking Gary questions on Twitter even though he blocked me.

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This weekend, Baylor is playing Lamar which legitimately sounds more like a Tennis Match between two adult humans than a football game in Waco, Texas. Regardless, Lamar fans should feel the love this weekend.

This post after throwing a sick tennis pun burn in the previous paragraph.

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One feature that will never change is you, yes you, putting your reactions to all things Baylor, Big 12 and college football in the comments. So go do that like right now. Dana Holgerson might personally deliver you Red Bull if you do.*

*This is not a real thing.