OH MAN JEFF LONG. OH MAN OH MAN. NOT AGAIN. YOU DONE MESSED WITH SCRUBBY LITTLE BAYLOR AGAIN AND NOW WE GOTSTA ROOT FOR CARNAGE. HERE'S WHO YOU SHOULD BE ROOTING FOR THIS WEEKEND TO HELP BAYLOR MOVE UP.
- Ohio at Bowling Green -- Baby Baylor gonna get this #MACTION goin up on a Wednesday.
- Mississippi State at Missouri -- SEC folks like to talk about the #brand of defense they play. Mizzou thought SEC defenses weren't getting enough credit because their labor union stepped in and their offense has gone on strike. Seriously Mizzou hasn't scored a touchdown since OCTOBER 3RD. #Pray4MizzouTouchdowns
- Columbus Blue Jackets at Los Angeles Kings -- Ohio State gotta take all the L's they can get. Gotta damage the local reputation even if it means disparaging the crosstown professional hockey team that Urban Meyer doesn't even acknowledge. Go Kings.
- Temple at SMU -- EPIC STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE BOOST SMU. PLEASE.
- Rice at UTEP -- See above although this would be significantly less epic because UTEP's defense is about as effective as a paper clip in a knife fight.
- Philadelphia 76ers at Cleveland Cavaliers -- LeBron pretends to act like he likes Ohio State. This injustice from the king shall not stand.
- Duke at North Carolina -- OH NOES THE ACC SCREWED OVER DUKE WHAT DO WE TELL THE CHILDRENS. I'M SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T CALL A BOGUS CHARGE ON MIAMI AND GIVE DUKE TWO FREE THROWS. QUINCY ACY SAYS GET OVER IT DUKE.
- Notre Dame at Pittsburgh -- Well I guess we gotta hate on the Irish now huh. Notre Dame ended up higher than Baylor mainly due to strength of schedule. If your schedule is so strengthy then why did you back out on us six years ago bruh.
- Louisiana-Lafayette at Georgia State -- Hate you forever RJ Hunter :(
- Idaho at South Alabama -- THIS IS A CONFERENCE GAME LOL THANKS FUN BELT.
- Arkansas at Ole Miss -- 2 loss Ole Miss controls it's own destiny in the SEC West. Mass carnage would ensue if they win out. Plus it never hurts to kick Jeff Long right between the feels.
- TCU at Oklahoma State -- Uhhh...CAN THEY BOTH LOSE?
- Bacone College at Southwestern Assemblies of God -- Bacone was Lamar's opponent in their season opener. Gotta look for all the strength of schedule boosts we can get. Plus their name is Bacone. Bacon with an E. It's like bacon but just a little bit more chilvalrous.
- Cincinnati at Houston -- Do you want College Gameday in Waco next weekend for the OU game? Then root for UH to lose because Memphis and Houston play next weekend and if both are undefeated, I could see Gameday going there instead. And nobody wants to see a College Gameday in front of all 287 diehard Houston Cougar fans.
- Michigan State at Nebraska -- As if getting punk'd by Purdue isn't bad enough, HOW DOES NEBRASKA LET A DUDE NAMED CORN ELDER GO TO MIAMI? No wonder Nebraska is all aboard the struggle bus. The corn levels in the state are below expectations. Can't play 60 minutes of solid defense without max corn levels Nebraska.
- Auburn at Texas A&M -- It's fitting that A&M wears Adidas uniforms that look like they have tire treads in them because their run defense usually gets run over.
- Kansas at Texas -- Hang in there Kansas. Basketball is soon. You're probably not going to win this BUT WHAT IF YOU DID. In the middle of the 4th quarter, Longhorn Network might just cut over to a replay of the 2005 National Championship game and hope no one notices.
- Minnesota at Ohio State -- MINNESOTA WE GOTTA TALK. I KNOW WE HAVEN'T ALWAYS SEEN EYE TO EYE BUT I WILL PERSONALLY DELIVER A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF DILLY BARS TO MINNEAPOLIS IF YOU WIN THIS GAME.
- LSU at Alabama -- Let's see if Alabama can pick up another one of those key impressive losses that the committee seems to value so much. Gotta move the Tide up to #2 if they can find a way to stay within a touchdown at home against a team with a mediocre passing game.