Welcome back to March Couldn’t Be Me-dness where we will be chronicling the heartbreak of millions during every round of the NCAA tournament. A tournament Baylor, as of this writing, is still in. Some other folks, wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Let’s get in to it.
New Mexico State (but also lowkey Auburn)
Usually I wouldn’t knock a 12-seed from the WAC for losing to a 5-seed from the SEC by 1 point. Usually. But New Mexico State found a way to get there. Did you see this game? Lemme tell you about the end of this game.
Auburn is up 2 points. There’s 6 seconds left.
New Mexico St gets the ball and their point guard runs straight from one end of the court to the other, unimpeded, all the way to the basket for an easy lay up to tie the game and probably force overtime. Easy money, right?
Wrong. He passes out of the paint to a player on the wing for a contested 3 pointer.
Easy money for Auburn now, right?
Wrong. Auburn player fouls the 3 point shooter. Remember Auburn is only up 2.
Easy money for New Mexico St. again, right?
Wrong. Dude misses 2 of the 3 free throws, including the last one. Auburn is still up one, getting a rebound ends the game. NOW it’s easy money for Auburn, right? Certainly. It has to be. There’s nothing else that can happen now. Just get the rebound and survive and advance.
Wrong. They don’t get the rebound. They knock it out of bounds. New Mexico St. ball down 1 with time for a shot. Not only did they get a shot, they got a great shot. A wide open shot. This is it, right? One shining moment playing in everybody’s head. Here it comes. Right here. Right now.
Ouch. New Mexico St. coulda tied it, but instead they are given three foul shots and only hit one. Auburn gets the win. March Madness, folks. pic.twitter.com/s5Wlk9EBxh— Andersen Pickard (@andersenreports) March 21, 2019
Nobody should feel good about it but it’s over now and dear god both of those teams Couldn’t Be Me.
My heart. Is shattered.— Barstool New Mexico State (@barstoolnmsu) March 21, 2019
Everyone who had New Mexico State in their bracket: pic.twitter.com/QfmsR6UNYg— Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) March 21, 2019
Marquette, another 5-seed, got BLOOOOOOOWED UP by Ja Morant and Murray State.
I don’t know much of anything about Marquette other than that Dwyane Wade went there back in the day and that they let this happen to them.
I also know they gave up the 9th triple double in NCAA Tournament history to that dude. And they lost by 19 points to a Not A State State University.
Couldn’t Be Me.
Kansas State won a share of the Big 12 this year. How wonderful for them. Sharing a trophy with Texas Tech is something we all aspire to I’m sure. They earned a 4 seed off the strength of their conference win and apparently that was enough for them to call it a season cause they came out here and stunk up the joint against <checks notes> UC Irvine.
That’s right. Not historical power UCLA. Not major conference school you’ve heard of before UC Berkley (Cal). A DIFFERENT school from the UC system. One whose mascot is the Anteaters. One who had NEVER won an NCAA Tournament game before. A 13 seed.
They came out here and beat Kansas State.
I mean I understand Kansas State was missing a great player. But still, it was all good just a week ago.
Kansas State reacts after its NCAA Tournament announcement. K-State is a 4-seed in the South Region, facing UC-Irvine in San Jose, California, on Friday. pic.twitter.com/PTtkPPnN4v— Ryan Black (@RyanABlack) March 17, 2019
And now look at cha. Well, I won’t be looking at cha, cause your season is over after the first round of the NCAA tournament in 2019. I don’t know how that feels but I know it Couldn’t Be Me.
UC Irvine with its FIRST win in NCAA Tournament HISTORY. pic.twitter.com/S2voLpMBT8— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) March 22, 2019
Must still be celebrating winning the big 12 ...— Devonte Graham (@Devonte4Graham) March 22, 2019
K-State losing in the first round after winning a share of the big 12 and being in the top 25 all year is the most K-State thing ever— Braden (@JohanningBraden) March 22, 2019
Working your ass off for a whole season to be better than Kansas but you couldn’t be better than UC Irvine for 40 minutes??? https://t.co/xIGi8qBZy3— Dex Hinton (@DexHinton) March 22, 2019
Look. I’m gonna be honest.
Y’all don’t read these because I offer great basketball analysis. and I have none to offer here. I didn’t watch 6-seed Iowa State play 11-seed Ohio State. I couldn’t name a single Ohio State player if you threatened to shoot me right now. I’d just take my L and make my peace with the Lord.
I don’t know what happened in this game. I don’t know why it happened. I don’t care to watch highlights of what happened. I don’t need what happened explained to me. Only one thing about this game matters.
Iowa State lost in the first round AGAIN.
Iowa State has repeatedly influenced many brackets by winning three Big 12 tournaments in the last five seasons, and in those three seasons the Cyclones have won one NCAA tournament game.— John Gasaway (@JohnGasaway) March 23, 2019
oh nooooo i woke up to just like a dozen piles of liquid dog iowa state all over the house— mattisbear (@mattisbear) March 23, 2019
Iowa State Michigan— Barstool OSU (@BarstoolOSU) March 23, 2019
giving up 62 points
to ohio state
I would say I’m sad for Iowa State but after how their fans have been to Baylor this year? pic.twitter.com/qMLyoQu8zR— fank (@dfank_BU) March 23, 2019
AHAHAHAHA IOWA STATE LOSING IS ALWAYS GREAT— Dex Hinton (@DexHinton) March 23, 2019
COULDN’T BE ME.
#BringMeTheButton and let’s get ready for Round 2!