It’s not that I need a slow warmup to get excited for football. I just fear if I don’t gradually reintroduce myself, I’ll pull an emotional investment muscle.

My sports fandom has a tendency to go dormant at times. Like Fank and Peter covered on the podcast, this offseason wasn’t really that type of situation. There was just so many other things happening in the world of sports, it was easy to put 1-11 in the very back of your mind and let it sit there unbothered. That being said, no matter how sore the muscles are, we gotta stretch em.

Over the next remaining offseason weeks, I thought I’d zoom out and reflect on the 18 things we’ve loved about the football seasons past, and what new stuff we are excited to experience for the first time in 2018.

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So this past weekend was going to be one, by design, of very little activity. The family wanted to spend some time together as my wife would be returning to work on Monday after 3 months of maternity leave. (By the way, yes, if you missed it, there are two Babies....is...bears? now. Good luck, world.)

So the older childbear and I woke up a little before everyone, scrounged around the house for some food and plopped down on the couch. Instinctively, I flipped on the TV to ESPN to begrudgingly see what the Gameday gang was harping on this week.

Oh no.

Nothing.

Nothing but discount laptops or the latest celebrity scand-oh no that’s the news.

I realized I had actually grown to miss a very underrated part of the college football experience: Television. I felt empty. I apparently missed Gameday and Herbstreit’s oddly combative stances on weirdly innocuous topics. I missed Corso. I missed flipping to four different channels to get glimpses teams I’ve never watched before, even though it’s already Week 7. I missed horrible halftime coach interviews and MuscleRef and all of the characters that filled our Saturdays.

Then that feeling of loss and missing turned into feelings of excitement. All of these things are coming back! Very soon! Let’s start our exercise in excitement with:

COLLEGE FOOTBALL TELEVISION STUFF

18. COLLEGE GAMEDAY feat. THE ONLY THINGS THAT MAKE ME CRY

Seriously. The OurDailyPodcast boys also discussed how the recent sports happenings have made us strong supporters of “morning sports things”. Coffee and a baked good + college football (even if it’s just high level talk) just feels very right.

College Gameday, while flawed, is still appointment viewing for me. Now, I might get to the television late. I might not even listen closely, but it’s on.

And with Baylor almost assuredly improving drastically this year, heck, maybe some words are even pointed in Waco’s direction.

I’m excited for making fun of the celebrity pickers. I’m excited for horrifically inappropriate fan signs. I’m excited to get mad about what was said on the broadcast. I’m excited

Additionally, I apparently have a very damaged emotional complex. Not that this is any kind of surprise to my twitter followers, but it’s true. I apparently only feel human emotion if:

a) someone/something threatens my kids/wife

or

b) a sports person overcomes a situation that makes it hard to play sports real good

Tom Rinaldi: ”In 2014, Terry Marksman was a sophomore at Lake High School High School. He had just secured the starting quarterback spot on the varsity team, the first time an underclassman had accomplished this in Lake’s history.”

Me, like an idiot: “Oh great, not another sob story about an All-American quarterback. They get everything handed to them in li-”

Tom Rinaldi: ”-until he lost both his arms in a terrible JUGS machine accident.”

Me: “oh no is he oka-”

Tom Rinaldi: ”Terry wouldn’t give up though. After sewing two arms from very gracious octopus onto his own body using nothing but Takis as anesthetic, Terry showed up at practice the next day.”

Me, sobbing: “ohhhmyyygahahahaaaaaaaoood he’s so inspirationalllll”

In short, I have a cry stored up that I’m excited to get out of my system.

17. THE WHAT TO WATCH GRIDS

I also miss Saturday’s catering directly to my Attention Deficit Disorder. When the season gets busy enough to have multiple games starting in the same time slot, but then also having multiple games starting in a cascade DURING those first set of games, that’s when I’m at my best.

<click> watch 2 plays, make irrational game and season performance prediction of said teams <click> repeat for 13 hours

http://www.fbschedules.com/college-football-schedule/

It’s the absolute best! Nothing can stop you. If your husband or wife says “ok after this game, please do chore X”, but doesn’t really know who is playing at any point in time, guess what?!? You never have to do that chore, because the “game” doesn’t end until 1:30am CST.

I’m excited to record games to watch during another game’s halftime. No talking heads for me!

16. PLATTITUDES (aka Platitudes, But I Couldn’t Resist the Pun)

All the usual reasons aside, I’m actually most excited for something very unusual this season. In every other situation in sports, I gag at the lack of creativity invested into typical platitudes.

”a game changer”

”a rags to riches story”

Not this year. I’m ecstatic. After Baylor makes a run in the early part of the season, I will be accepting all platitudes targeting Matt Rhule and this “significantly improved” Baylor football team.

”Matt Rhule has really turned this program around.”

”The foundation is there, all Baylor and Matt Rhule needs to do is learn how to finish.”

”Matt Rhule now can start to see what his guys can do.”

”Matt Rhule and Scott Drew are two diamonds in the rough.”

Am I looking forward to some idiot comparing the extreme lows of each program! Not really! But if I get my Rhule-itudes, I’ll be happy.

With a new cub in the cave, it’s tough to travel to Waco. So yes, unfortunately I will be experiencing most of my Baylor football intake from my couch this season.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

• Gary Patterson shirt sweat patterns vs my extreme discomfort watching an innocent TCU co-ed
• Talking Heads + early season Texas victory!
• The ticker at the bottom of the screen! So many scores and yards and points and performances!