WELCOME, once again, after a brief hiatus, to Know Your Enemy: your one-stop-shop for the least informative and most hilarious college football analysis this side of the Brazos River! This week, we're taking a look at Baylor's upcoming game at Oklahoma State!
Without further adieu,
LET'S GET HYPED
PART ONE: WHO'S THAT!?
Where They're From: Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, OK
What's Their Name: Cowboys (although their fans call them the "Pokes" for some reason, which is much funnier)
Who's Their Coach:
the mullet speaks for itself
What's Their Deal: The OK State CowPokes love to huck the ball deep. Mason Rudolph The Red-Nosed QB has one of those fancy new Navy railguns instead of a right arm and usually it's a pass to Angry Hands Turf Lambo James Washington on a long go route which goes for a touchdown. So, uh, that's probably what we're gonna have to focus on.
Here's Something Dumb: Oklahoma State University and The Ohio State University were recently locked in a legal battle over who gets to call themselves OSU in publications in stuff. They wound up fighting for months over the rights to a three-letter acronym even though most people / publications have gotten by just fine with minimal OSU-based confustion. Good on Okie State for getting to share the OSU name even though they know in their hearts that "OKST" is who they truly are, and that Ohio State is the real OSU. Even ESPN's news ticker agrees.The moral of the story is these two schools ended up caring way too much about something that doesn't actually matter in real life and that copyright laws are dumb other than getting huge athletic departments into petty disputes. Also lol @ Oregon State just not even bothering to ask.
PART TWO: HOW DO THEY STACK UP?
probably pretty well it turns out
Record: 0-5 :( :( :(
Ranking (Coaches/AP): NR/NR
S&P+ / FPI: #69/71
Advantages: The team is "healthier than we've been all season", according to Coach Rhule, which is at least a positive sign. We're getting back RB JaMychal Hasty, TEs Jordan Feuerbacher and ISH WAINRIGHT, which should help the offense move at least a little bit better (plus just having Ish Wainright around is really always a generally good idea regardless of the situation). Defense has looked better each week since the beginning of the season, and has gotten progressively healthier as well. We'll see if that leads to a whole lot of on-field improvement in a road game against a really good team.
Advantages: Pretty much everything, including being at home. Their linebacking corps looked kind of suspect against TCU's running game, but when that offense is clicking (which is more often than not), there's just not a whole lot you can do about it.
PART THREE: WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh probably not gonna go so well. I'd like to remain optimistic but OkSt is a super bad matchup for us in our current state. Look for us to at least look better on the field but in terms of the scoreboard we're probably gonna get boatraced.
JUST KIDDING WATCH US COME OUT AND RUIN SOMEONE'S SEASON I WILL CONTINUE TO ASSUME IT WILL HAPPEN EACH WEEK UNTIL IT HAPPENS OR I'M PROVEN OTHERWISE AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME. BAYLOR 31 OKLAHOMA STATE 30, WE WIN AT THE LAST MINUTE ON A BLOCKED PAT RETURNED FOR A 1 POINT SAFETY OR SOME OTHER STUPID NONSENSE
HASHTAGS OF THE WEEK: #WhoIsOSU #SillyLittleCowMen #SicOKST
Sic 'Em Bears!