Hey everybody, Sr. Assistant to the Manager of Safety and Responsible Choices here at OurDailyBears. I understand that a large chunk of the ODB community might be trekking on down to my home city of Houston, Texas.
My job here at ODB is to make sure everyone stays safe and makes responsible choices, so I thought it prudent to make sure everyone is prepared for 2016’s first road contest.
"Matt, where do we eat?"
"Matt, where do we sleep?"
"Matt, what do I wear?"
"Matt, where can we watch replays of the Warriors blowing a 3-1 lead in the Finals?"
First thing’s first when you roll into my city: You have to stay safe. Follow these super simple rules:
- Don’t move too fast. Houstonians are very relaxed and tranquil. Moving too fast might indicate you are of an unfriendly nature.
- I swear on my mother’s life if you don’t get the F*CK OUT OF THE LEFT LANE I WILL BURN DOWN YOUR UPTOWN PARK CONDO. Don’t drive the speed limit in Houston. Don’t drive 5mph over the speed limit in Houston. Pretend there is a speed-maintained explosive on your family’s Tahoe. This is safer than driving slow in Houston.
- Good news, everyone! If you do need medical assistance, Rice University is located right in the heart of one the most technologically advanced medical center in the world! Introducing the Houston Medical Center! All of your booboo’s and acid refluxes can be fixed here! Yay!
"Matt, all that safety has made me super hungry. What can I do to fulfill my body’s needs?"
Well reader, you’re in luck. Treasures on Westhei-
"For nourishment. My family is hungry."
Houston is famous for two things and two things only: baseball and tex mex.
Just south of the Medical Center area is a nice little place called "Papasito’s" which is Spanish for "little potato". But skip the fries! The fajitas here are strangely authentic for a chain.
For a more independent taste of the south, head north just a tad to El Tiempo on Washington. Good stuff.
Now that you’re all fueled up, it’s time to head to the game. Try to avoid highways as previously mentioned. Also, make sure to avoid the smaller off streets. Now that I think about it, walk, bike or take an Uber from wherever you are staying. Houston still has Uber, because we didn’t screw that up.
No, no. Don’t worry. They are supposed to look like that.
"What about the actual place we are going to? Rice University?"
Rice University boasts the most consistent stadium stairs in America. Let me tell you, if you are looking for stairs? Rice University is your place. People from all over the world apply to Rice to run those stairs. What a burn.
Also Rice has a football team that plays there sometimes.
Enjoy the game on one of Rice’s fantastic concrete blocks! Ask a Rice fan for his/her flask! Help a Rice student with his Theoretical Fluid Hyperdynamics elective assignment!
After the game, explore the Rice Village area. Within walking distance are many options for food, libation, and shopping. Also, food. And shopping. Not to mention libations.
You obviously won’t be able to experience all the great things Houston has to offer in one day, so you’ll have to come back another time.
Wondering the best route home after the game?
Head north on Hwy290, or West on I-10.
Then settle in one of our wonderful suburban utopias. Congrats! You live in Houston now!
Update: Hey some actual helpful information!
Rice released some parking information. Read this!