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Finding ODB: Negative Behavior Patterns, TV Shows, and Vicious Rumors

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We're once again taking a look at the bizarre and funny searches that led folks to ODB. Come find out what led people to our little corner of the Internet.

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

The excitement surrounding the Big 12 Media Days seems to have died down, but we're still over a month away from the start of the college football season and the debut of McLane Stadium on August 31. Now's as good a time as any for another installment of Finding ODB, wouldn't you agree? Let's take a look at some of the more interesting ways that searchers found our favorite SB Nation Blog about the Baylor Bears since our last installment.

Before we begin, I'd like to note that you'd be surprised how many people search for recruiting news of other schools (e.g. Texas A&M, Florida State, Oklahoma State) but find their way to ODB. It's a fascinating dynamic to me. If I'm looking for recruiting news for Ohio State, I'm not sure that clicking on a link to a Nebraska website would be my first move. Additionally, in the first one of these, I accurately predicted the decommit of one Patrick Hudson from Texas A&M and his subsequent commitment to Baylor, if you read "all" to actually be "this one specific guy that is a very highly rated recruit." Which I totally do.

baylor football kicked from team

We'll start off with a rather solid search that would most definitely lead to ODB. It's true: Robbie Rhodes was kicked off the team in late June. June was a fairly bleak month for Baylor sports. But what tickles my funnybone about this search: this person isn't concerned with players kicked from the team, no sir; the search wants to know about a football that was kicked from the team. I'm sure that both Spencer Roth and Chris Callahan are hard at work kicking footballs from the team, but I am unaware of any footballs that have been dismissed from use outright.

alternate history lsu

ConnerSaurusRex is absolutely responsible for this result, what with his Darkest Timeline and alternate history posts. And, somehow, whatever search engine this person typed this search into knew that Conner grew up an LSU fan before he found The Light. That's somewhat disturbing. Thus, that person was guided to ODB. I for one hail our new robot search engine overlords.

bad habits

I'm not even sure. So, let's perform an exercise, shall we? Let's power rank some bad habits from worst to best. A sampling to rank:

  • chewing finger nails
  • nose picking
  • cheering for Texas A&M
  • procrastination
  • Reddit
  • drinking alcohol to excess
  • talking loudly in a movie theater during the quiet parts of a movie
  • other (include in comments)

baylor dear football

Lots of the searches that send people here contain typos, often to amusing results. For example, during this search window, someone searched for "arr briles championship belt quote," and all I could think about was Art Briles talking like a pirate. There were multiple searches for "our daiky bears," which just made me sad because it would have been much funnier if it were a search for Our Daily Beaks. The one quoted above, however, sparks my imagination as a possible advice column for Baylor fans, called "Dear Football," where people write in with all sorts of life problems but the responses don't really help because the answers are all about the spread offense vs. the air raid or tidbits on the latest recruiting camps.

baylor vs ucf prediction

Yes, this was a search that occurred in July 2014. I predict that in January 2014, Baylor lost to UCF 52-42 in the Fiesta Bowl in Tempe, AZ. I also predict that I DVRed this game with the intent of watching it upon returning to my home. I predict that I never watched the recording, and deleted it several months later without remorse or regret. I also predict that Bryce Petty scored one of the more exciting touchdowns of the season last year, flipping over a defender into the end zone. We'll see if those predictions played out nearly seven months ago.

brian nance

ALERT. ALERT. One search got through. Initiate Lockdown Mode. Mark has no idea of the whereabouts of one Brian Nance, and stop asking, thank you very much.

downton waco news

SCOOP: ODB can now report that PBS is launching a spinoff of the smash hit show "Downton Abbey," known as Downton Waco. Details will be forthcoming, but the show is rumored to be set around that castle house over on Austin Avenue in Waco. Who do you want to see as part of the cast?

the law of football after 90 minutes?

Friend, I'm sorry to inform you that football games are only 60 minutes long; the game is broken in to four quarters lasting 15 minutes each. 90 minutes would be amazing, but I wonder if the players would be worn out for the last 30 minutes of the game. That might be tough. Ohhhh you meant the European kind of football. Well, I'm assuming you're looking for what happens after 90 minutes have expired in a match. The fact that you call it the "law of football" makes me laugh, though. Anyway, it's called stoppage time. The ref estimates the amount of time elapsed due to stoppages in play (goals, injuries, time wasting, fights, streakers, cats, etc.) and adds that to the end of the match. It's almost never accurate. Scintillating stuff, that.

And, finally...

shawn oakman dismissed

DREAM ON, SOONERS. HE'S COMING FOR YOU.