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The primary difference between RG3 and me.

I mean other than the obvious physical differences (I'm talking, of course, about his dreads) and my total lack of anything resembling his athletic achievements, this is probably the biggest difference between Robert Griffin III and myself. RG3 is going to get drafted tonight as the second overall pick by the Washington Redskins. He's going to make millions. Tonight is the official start of that part of his life ... and he's volunteering at a Children's Hospital. I'd probably be picking out a golden manatee or something to wear around my neck.

Oh, you wouldn't buy a golden manatee to wear around your neck? You are a liar.