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Breaking News-- Robert Griffin III is just tall enough not to suck!

Those who don't follow the twitterverse coverage of the NFL Combine may be just now finding out that Robert Griffin III, whose size has been called into question recently in rumor, speculation, and song, measured at 6-2 3/8 officially this morning, far above the size where noted NFL QB experts Adam Schefter, who still contends with constant flaming bags of poo left on his doorstep by Jevan Snead's family*, and Colin Cowherd, a true genius of our time, pegged him.

This is a HUGE load off my mind, because I was worried that if he measured at anything less than 6-2, all of RG3's obvious talent, accomplishments, and non-height-related physical attributes would have just ceased to exist. The fact that he is over 6-2, a mark that is totally not arbitrary at all, means he has, in the course of just a few hours, gone from an electrifying QB prospect that can/will change the destiny of a franchise to an electrifying QB prospect that can/will change the destiny of a franchise in the NFL. Before today we weren't sure if he was going to be able to throw over NFL linemen like the 6-5 Jason Smith of the St. Louis Rams even though he threw for at least a season over the 6-5 Jason Smith of the Baylor Bears. And Lord knows the NFL is just chock full of guys bigger than Robert T. Griffin, who stands a measly 6-6 and played right guard for Baylor each of the last two years.

I am just so relieved to find out that Griffin, the Heisman Trophy-winning QB of the best offense in the country in 2011, is 1.8% taller than he was otherwise believed to have been, because Lord knows that QBs under 6-2 can't possibly be successful. I mean look at Drew Brees. That guy sucks. Why didn't you throw 47 TDs in 2011, you pansy?

The only thing I'm kind of pissed off about with this whole deal is that, by measuring over the NFL Standard Height for QBs line of 6-2, Griffin has now worked his way back into the discussion for the 2nd-overall pick where my Cowboys can't get him. I was sure that if he had come in at 6-1 7/8 or 6-1 11/12, he would have fallen out of the first round completely to some far more manageable draft spot for Dallas. Thanks for that, English measuring system.

*This Jevan Snead joke is actually incorrect. I was thinking of Todd McShay. I'm going to leave the joke because I don't care.