When I was
a kid in second grade or so, I was obsessed with Davy Crockett. You know those old movies with Fess Parker and Buddy Ebsen, where they both end up at the Alamo doing Alamo stuff (SPOILER: mostly dying, in case you never took Texas History [I think Texas is literally the only state that makes students learn their history repeatedly. Maybe because we're the only state where enough happened to warrant teaching about it? Reason Number 1684568 Why Texas is the Best.])? Those movies were my thing. I remember reading everything I could get my hands on about Mr. Crockett. What. A. Man.
(This all has a point, I promise.)
So today, I'm be-bopping around town after watching a Baylor hype vid, and this song comes on. It's the Ballad of Davy Crockett! And then something crazy happens. As they're singing about Crockett's accomplishments, I realized that TGCAB also has done many of the same things, albeit in football, not with a rifle.
First, have a listen.
Now, on to the list.
9 Things That Prove Art Briles Is Basically Davy Crockett
1. Art Briles was born in a small town in West Texas. David Crockett was born in a small town in Greene County, Tennessee. (At the time, Tennessee was the closest thing America had to Texas, since Texas was barely being settled by LaSalle and the French in 1786.)
2. Both Briles and Crockett were early leaders. Briles led Rule High School to the Class B State Championship Game in 1973, while Crockett was made a Colonel in the Lawrence County militia.
3. Both men then took their outstanding leadership to bigger venues and were equally successful. Briles was a WR for U of H, taking the team to the Cotton Bowl in 1977. Crockett was elected to the Tennessee State Legislature in 1821, where he was influential in opposing Andrew Jackson's Indian Removal Act (think Trail of Tears).
4. Neither man enjoys showing his arms.
Come on, guys.
5. Both men suffered a tragic loss that led them to their destinies. For Briles, this was the fatal car accident that took his parents and aunt while they were driving to Dallas for the 1977 Cotton Bowl. For Crockett, it was not getting reelected to Congress in 1835.
6. Both men are darn good at what they do. Briles is tickled pink by the idea of a Baylor offense in the NFL, which shows that whatever magic he's cooked up here on the Brazos has impressed professional bigwigs. Crockett was a legendary shot and reportedly bought time for the few Texian defenders of the Alamo through their great marksmanship (otherwise that 13 day siege would have been much shorter).
7. Both men are larger than life. First, he is TGCAB. I'd say that's larger than life. Crockett was basically TGCAB but with marksmanship. Only with Disney movies instead of parody twitter accounts.
8.Both men have signature hats.
(NOTE: This is Fess Parker portraying Davy Crockett. Just to clear that up real quick.)
9. Both men embody the best qualities of Texans: resilience, humour, and darn good fashion sense.
I must account for that 1% difference.
Crockett: "You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas."
Briles: "I'm not going to Texas."
Contrary to reports and rumors I am a Baylor Bear - 2013 Big 12 Champs— Coach Art Briles (@CoachArtBriles) January 3, 2014
Sic 'em, TGCAB! And, I guess, Davy Crockett.
(PS. I'm now on twitter. Holler? But be warned, cause I ain't no hollaback gurl.)