Monday DBR: The World Cup Mascot Death Bracket Pt. 1

This picture has nothing to do with anything. - Brandon Wade

There's about zero things to write about so at Conner's suggestion, here is the group stages of the World Cup - Mascot Style.

Group A

Brazil

The host country's mascot this football-playing armadillo thing. I'm going to assume he's very good a defense, but also at smashing into things.

Brazilwcupmascot110312-300x300_medium

via theinterrobang.com

Mexico

Mexico has a sweet eagle eating a snake. They're the early favorites.

Mexico-eagletdwhs-foreign-department-xflla7xu_medium

via title5feeholiday.com

Croatia

Croatia don't have a mascot, so here's a checkered tablecloth instead.

95218872-300x300_medium

via www.hippocampusmagazine.com


Cameroon

The Indomitable Lions roar onto the scene with pride and loud noises Cameroon_lion_medium

via kolfcooperation.com

First Place: Brazil

Say what you want about Armadillos, but they're the state small mammal of Texas, meaning that they are awesome. Plus, they can roll up in a ball and choke a lion or an eagle.

Second Place: Mexico

El Tri rise up on the wings of eagles in a close-fought battle with the Indomitable Lions. Ultimately, the mobility of the eagle wins out against the large cat.

Group B

Netherlands

The Dutch are great at Totaalvoetbal and their mascot is a royal orange lion. That's pretty epic.

Knvb-lion_medium

via durusdigest.files.wordpress.com

Chile

La Roja don't have a mascot. I am disappointed in you, Texas-flag-look-alike country.

Spain

Like Chile, La Furia Roja don't have a mascot either. But they're "The Red Fury" which makes them cooler than "The Red"

Australia

Socceroos! It's a kangaroo playing soccer. What's not to like?

532907-39ca6f9e-b70b-11e3-9942-d7dbb3111cd3_medium

via resources3.news.com.au


First Place: Netherlands

Obviously, the royal lion wipes the floor with the kangaroo. Unfortunately for the super cool 'roo, there ain't nothing he can do against the teeth and claws of a lion.

Second Place: Australia

By default (and also because Socceroos is such a fun word to say), Australia advance over the two Reds.

Group C

Colombia

Los Cafeteros can grow coffee like no other, but how will they stack up against the likes of Group C?

Story_nescafeplancolombia_medium

via www.nestle.com

Greece

Greece's nickname is apparently "The Pirate Ship". That's pretty BA. They are definitely favorites to advance.

Mural_greece_medium

via www.vanityfair.com

Côte d'Ivoire

Les Elephants will rumble through this group. Or will they? Elephants are easily spooked.

African_bush_elephant_medium

via upload.wikimedia.org

Japan

The Blue Samurai. Dang, this group is full of excellent mascots. We've almost got the classic pirates vs. ninjas match-up here.

Blue_lotus_samurai_by_lord_varian-d67eol8_medium

via th05.deviantart.net


First Place: Colombia

This was by no means an easy choice, but since the world runs on coffee, you gotta give the nod to the coffee growers. Plus, how can you deny that excellent mustache a chance to advance?

Second Place: Japan

Samurai are better than Pirates. 'Nuff said.

Group D

Costa Rica

Los Ticos translates, according to Wikipedia, to "The Costa Ricans". Pretty lame translation, but "Ticos" is so much fun to say that they may well advance regardless.

Costa-rica_medium

via worldcupplayoffsbracket.com

Uruguay

La Celeste, or "The Sky Blue", are a colour. That's it. There's no bite about them.

Uruguay_medium

via worldcupplayoffsbracket.com

Italy

Azzurri. More colours?! Laaaaame.

Article-0-1e45894d00000578-552_634x464_medium

via i.dailymail.co.uk

Pirlo wins the World Cup of Beards though.

England

The Three Lions are quadrennial underachievers. That being said, they're not a darn colour.

500px-england_crest_2009svg_medium

via i1100.photobucket.com

First Place: England

Three lions can take down many things, especially colours.

Second Place: Costa Rica

TICO TICO TICO! So much fun to say.

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