Do you ever get that boring feeling when watching college football? Tired of watching games with the -final score of 7-3? Do you ever think, "Man…I wish someone would score?"
Well, if you answered yes to any of the above questions you might have a case of Nonbearitis. Over the past three years, Nonbearitis has affected thousands of football fans across the nation. The upper mid-east has been the worst hit area, but it has also been seen in some southeastern cities from time to time.
So I know you are asking yourself, "What can I do to prevent myself or a loved one from getting Nonbearitis?" Well, I’m here to tell you there is a solution to this problem. We have developed some revolutionary medicine that has cured hundreds upon thousands of media personnel and fans across the nation! It is called…Brilhioctene!
Brilhioctene is a mixture of all natural speed and ability with great play calling and some of the best recruiting we could find. It creates an exciting football game where points get thrown on the scoreboard faster than you ever thought possible! Scoring drives that happen on a minute to minute basis instead of once every quarter or game. Studies have shown fans love to score, so why not make this happen in your living room on a given Saturday in the fall?!
You’re probably thinking, "Brilhioctene is very costly and only for the richer members of society (like the ODB elite)!" You would be wrong. Brilhioctene is free, taken in smaller doses over the TV and is very cheap taken in larger (recommended) doses in person!
Now you’re asking yourself, "Where can I get some of that Brilhioctene?" Well it’s easy…Tune in to the current Baylor Bears football game on your TV or even better make your way to a Baylor Bears football game in person at "The Case".
You will get immediate relief and will start to feel happy and gitty inside!
So remember, when you think you’re coming down with Nonbearitis…take some Brilhioctene!
I use it and I love scoring and you will too!
Side effects may include but are not limited to: excessive happiness, learning your multiples of seven, fear of punts, fear of halftime, fear of timeouts, wearing long sleeve shirts, setting Baylor Google alerts, vivid dreams about BU football and gloating.
Consult your doctor if you’re experience scoring four or more hours after the Baylor game has ended!